hella real jewish ritual

so miriam was talking shit about moses (and aaron was basically agreeing with her) all about the ethiopian woman he married, all like “did he really marry that nxxxxx?” and they were both like “does jehovah only ever give orders to moses? doesn’t he also give orders to us?” and jehovah heard it (btw this messenger moses––he’s super humble, more than any dirtball on the face of this bloodsoaked earth) all of a sudden jehovah is like “moses. aaron. miriam. come out to the meeting room the three of you.” so the three of them come out and jehovah comes down with a fogpost, stops right at the meeting room door, and calls out aaron and miriam on their racism and they both come out

numbers 12:1-5

saying “please pay attention to what i’m saying: with any of your prophets––when they’re with jehovah––i show myself to them through the mirror, talk to them in the dream. but my guy moses is different. my whole crew trusts him. i talk to him mouth to mouth, clear info––no filters. he sees me so well that he knows he can’t see me. and for some reason, you’re not scared to talk shit about my guy moses?!” jehovah let out the rage and took off

when the fog lifted over the room, miriam was all flaked up like snow, and aaron turns around to her and sees that she’s crumbling so aaron begs moses like “dude, i––please don’t punish us for all the stupid racist shit we said––don’t let miriam be like a dead body come out of it’s mother’s womb with half its flesh eaten up.” so moses yelled to jehovah “omg please make her better––please!”

numbers 12:6-13

so jehovah said to moses “if her daddy blew spit in her face wouldn’t she be shamed for seven days? she should be quarantined out of town for seven days, and then be collected.” so miriam stayed closed up out of town for seven days, and the people did not travel until miriam’s recollection

numbers 12:14-16

this reading comes from numbers 8-12

waterpuller's light #7: בהעלותך